“If you book months ahead, it’s because you want to be certain of a huge, silent room full of sanctimonious waiters ripping the shirt from your back for a piece of foie gras that has been poked and prodded until it tastes of warm thumbs by some half-educated sociopath who dreams of getting his own television show.” Giles Coren

Just because I want to moan I will say I found a Heston Blumenthal book in a second hand shop yesterday – it was full of pictures of his odd, bland potato head. Hardly any food! Really did not inspire me and made me feel a little ill. That said I am also getting slightly sick of those sickly sweet cloying, dreamy, mushy or overly matey books too! Ffs. I know food employs all the senses when we experience it but really it’s a lump of stuff that has been artfully prepared to be a good experience depending on your preferences.. Please can cooks stop peering at me with fake smiles/laughs, dreamy expressions or faux lifestyles from the pages of their books and websites and just get on with feeding people nice stuff. Ta